going out with you sometimes hurts.
u stick to your phone the whole time.
messaging and messaging. wonder who ur msg-ing.
nvm i dont wanna know.
i should know it could never ever happen again.
i cant say i give up cause i know i never will.
even if i want to my heart will still go on.
wat can i say? im stuborn== haih.
but who cares. i dont even know what am i saying or thinking about anymore these days.
even if i do think of you. the happy thoughts.
but now sad memories are starting to grow much much more.
and its getting harder by the minute.
i guess i must say goodbye sooner or later.
before i go crazy about loving someone.

anyone interested in buying a car???
call me 012-5356575 =]

did u ever recieve a msg that set your mood for the whole day? well i did. did anyone know that one msg from that someone could either brighten up your whole day. or ruin your whole week== yeahhhh. thats wat its like for me. always ups and downs. its all so confusing dat im really really tired. maybe i should just stop everything and just fall down. maybe that will work??=\

lately

i've been going out with yoke leng and sian hoo lately. others went to lankawi. some are busy. most are studying. so yeah. not many ppl can go out like us? hahahah sian hoo's phone and wallet and practically everything got stolen. hahaha means no more lan si-ing with his k800i anymore??xD i think he's gonna kill me after this. and and. leng is starting to learn how to be small gas!!! ishhhh i wonder why== why laaaa. not good la girls so xiao chi. lolx. anyway i've been eating at leng's workplace which is at aman suria. departure lounge. not bad place. has all sorts of sandwich and coffee or wtv la. ok im just plain bored thats why i wrote this post. oh yeah one more thing. .........errrr shit i forgot. ahhhh!!! nvm== will post again next time. til then! goodbye!=] oh wait wait wait!! when is anyone gonna be free to go ice skating??lolx. im dying to go! anyone??=D ok dats all!! byeeeeeeeeee~

i love you.

fake smiles on ma face when i c u .i hv been hurting myself behind u .i cant take seeing u wiv her
but wad can i do but jz to hide my tru feelings?your nick . your display pic . der tymes u tok bout heru couldnt imagine but its has been hurting me all these while i couldnt stand . i couldnt stop . i cry day n nyte selfish me hu wanz u all to myself i wonder y u care bout me so much cuz it juz hurts more it hurts when i c u wiv her it hurts when u talk bout her but queitly aside my tears drop all dese while i pretend ntg happen and tried to get along but i'm sorry . i cant do it . i can hide but i cant lie to myself u could jz stab and kill me nw . it'll make no diff der pain . i cant bear no more i'm weak . hv no energy . dont feel tired . dont feel hungry sleepless nytes . i cant go on further without u its killing me slowly i'm all haypee cheerful lil darLyn of yours in front of u .
but inside i tried n tried to hold baq my tears i hold n hold n hold datz me . der recent me . wad u done to me its all jz a pretence so dat u wouldnt b worry n b haypee i once lurve to go skewl . but now i'm scare i once lurve to on9 too . it cheers me up when i on9 . u were alwiz on9 too . chatting to me but enjoy der tymes talking to u . we were very cloz den . i mixx those tymes . i rely do . althou argueing is wad we alwiz do and get into der way but now still i do wish we still argue . mayb more . cuz nw we seldom even tok nemore well . its not we dont tok nemore . its me . der way i tok to u . hv scared u away i'm dyin to tok to u . but nw choose not to cuz when i do . i burst in tears while u hehe haha erything has change . erything is awkward n much diff . much much diff i nvr want to on9 . all i c is hearts her n her pic nvr wan to look fer u ryte after i on9 nvr want to tok to u too but i cant u ll get worry and me? i'm missing u but cant c u or tok to u its killing me . i could jz die nw u'll get worry when i'm moody . i cant do nethin but jz put fake smiles when i do . smtg in my body feels so burning can neone help me? i cant go on lyk dis . wadz wrong wiv me i lurve u . i mixx u . i wish to c u eryday . did i do smtg bad dat u din notice u were so important to me? seeing u . its reminds me of her . stab me would u? u duno wads happening . i hv ntg else to say smiles on ya face nw . i couldnt ask for more i dun wan u hatin yourself . selfish me til i duno wad i wn mayb jz erything? u're not mine . i shouldnt ask or complain tell me wad to do . i lost my way . der light n arrow is gone whereva i walk i still remaine at der same place i'm hurtin myself stewpid silly naive me i'm a silly gal after all running away from u its all wad i only can do i lurve u . i rely rely do

this isnt my writing. but i still kept it until now. i dont know why la. something wrong with me now. i just thought i should EXPRESS. sian hoo teach wn. but ok. hopefully she wont read this or she'll kill me. crapz. i still love her. i still think about her. every night before i go to bed. i cant sleep. cause all i think about is her. when i wake up. first thing i think about is her. when im bored in work. i think about her. whyyyyyyyy??? somebody pls help me to get her out of my head. and thanks xiang for talking to me. im glad ur always there for me when i need you. and thank you tan sian hoo for your nonsense. bout writing an essay on this. swtttt. i wonder when will i ever forget about you? i cant seem to like avoid you?? i still rmb wat you like. your so called drugs dat actually meant hugs or chocolates. taking sticker pictures used to be your fav. one day in ou without it wouldnt be a normal day for us. i miss going to tuition with u. we were listening on our headphones rather than listening to the teacher. and we also laughed when the teacher showed us stupid videos. u'd buy thos choc bars from the downstairs sundry shop and come up to share. and we'd freeze in the room until we were so cold. i miss your hugs. not those normal hugs. the hugs u used to give me a long time ago. we used to hug outside gsc at ou rmb? dont think u do. but yeah. i really miss those times. so badly. and also everytime i watched dat video by rainie yang-ai mei u appear in my head. we used to be so close. disturbing each other everyday. i miss skool. i wished we were still in skool. den maybe i still have the chance to get close to you again. but unfortunately it wont ever happen again. forever. i still miss it when u used to come over to my class. cut my fingernails for me cause i was lazy. and also we sms during pmr if im not wrong. lol i was so stupid i needed u to help me. and u still did. i miss you so much i dont know how to even describe this feeling i have for u. i dont know what it even means. i dont know how to get rid of it. i just really really really miss u so so badly that i cry everytime i think about you without you knowing about anything. i guess this is wat i get for letting someone i loved so much slip away. how could i even be so stupid. i really miss you. even after that nearly one year incident of not talking to you. we're still talking now. but it hurts even more now. just knowing ur no more inlove with me. everytime i hear ur with someone else. my heart hurts! i guess me and you are not meant to be. maybe just friends. nothing more nothing less. just friends. i should always rmb that ur my friend so that i dont get stupid thoughts thinking bout the pass. thinking about you. i dont know why. but i try not to think about it by keeping myself busy. example drinking with friends== which i do so every night nowadays. i blog bout it until lazy de. the pass 2 months. EVERY SINGLE night i never once did not go out. everyday sure got plan wn. swtttt. ok back to the topic. xiang teach me wn this one. "you once said this to me. now im telling u back d same words. is it too late to say i love u again?" omg. im gonna burst soon. haih. why why why? somebody just stab me with a knife. i'd rather die than to suffer this. at least i know she's happy now. thats good. anyway i think thats all i wanna blog now. its 2 am in the morning. later at 4 going mcd with friends. wtf eh? 2 hours of sleep. and oh yeah. today was the first day of college. wasnt bad. and i finally know how to use autocad. not bad. quite simple. yet complicated. hahahaha. anyways thats it. i just posted this blog to burst everything out. so yeah. thats it. bye people. and thank you yong xiang and sian hoo again. =]

touched

saturday night =]

went to ou with sian hoo to have dinner at jetty. after that fetched bro back home. den went to pick ngai hong up. den went back home to get some extra clothes just incase we were gonna get wet. after that. we went to pick john up. waited for him like half an hour== it was like 11?? yeah. we went mardi that night. duno wad wet party. amanda and xiang and alot of others was there=] nvr reli did much? hahaha but we entered for free so wth?=D saw some thailand boxing dance thing. lol. gaynesm!!hahahahahah xD anyway after mardi went back and sleep. nxt day worked den went to sunway uni to watch planet shakers. and i realised they perform live really good. but i was nxt to the speakers and it blew my right ear off. im one side deaf now. lol. but it was great. after that errr where did we go huh. oh yeah. went to aman suria to eat. den went tbun for about 2 hours. den left to rasta with me sian hoo john sean jun yang. went there met ngai hong leon sufyan and alot more lah. lazy to type. was watching football. liverpool's game. lol. after that when manu game started. we went to bukit kiara to walk. hahahahah we walked til the other guard house inside the jungle which had a toilet cause sian hoo was rushing to pee. hahahahah. den after that walked back. and realised john didnt take his bag so sian hoo went to his place and we went mamak nearby to continue the manu - arsenal match. ronaldo scored a penalty and another by i forgot who. i think long hair wn== ok anyway after that went back home and slept=] the end!

weekend!

i spend my weekend yum cha-ing and playing cod4. hahahaa on saturday after work went to euphoria at kdu. me sherman john went there and met up with bum and zarul. also met jia eu and his bro jia jen. alot of ppl was there== my bro tze yi andrea andrew and alot more la. it was alryte only though. dancefloor was great. only the bands== 1 or 2 was great but the rest was hell. they played their instruments until so offf laaaa. i mean. i know i cant play. but its fucking noisy okay! gives ppl headache. many ppl thought so== ok anyway after that. me and john went for dinner at kayu with zarul bum jia jen jia eu and one more guy. i forgot his name. hahah ok anyway after that. went to fetch nam hon. cause he and john was gonna stay over at my place that night. after that. went fetch "babyleng" lol to go for a drink. after that sent her home. went back to my place to take a bath. and we went cod4 the wholee night. until like 3?? den yum cha again!! until 4. hahahaha. my mom always say " u got so much of cha to yum wn ah. everyday yum yum yum " lol. okay so anyway on the way back. we did something real real dumb. car was still running. we were bored. i slowed the car. put it to free gear. and guess wat we started to do. we went out and started pushing the car while laughing. omg. nam hon laughed so loud i think neighbours all got up just to check if it was a robber or something. hahahaha. ok anyway we slept at 6?? woke up at 2 something. mom prepared us some food. ate and left to cod4 again== lol!! after that sent john home. wanted send nam hon back but then he was eating dinner alone so my mom called him to follow us. after dinner went pasar malam for awhile. saw pumpkin and ting. it has been like months since i saw her. lol ok after that sian hoo called. ask to eat dinner cause he was alone. wtfff. so instead of sending nam hon back. he just dropped his stuff and followed me back. den sian hoo pick us up. and went to john's place nearby to yum cha again!!! lol. after that we went for COD4 again!omg== wat kinda life is this. hahahhaa. after that sian hoo send everyone back. so yeah. thats it. the end!!=]